


habits are hard to break

by lumiere9699



Category: Produce 101 (TV), Wanna One (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Fluff and Angst, Friendship/Love, M/M, ongwink if you squint
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-04
Updated: 2017-08-04
Packaged: 2018-12-11 02:19:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,167
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11704782
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lumiere9699/pseuds/lumiere9699
Summary: Park Jihoon's everyday life is changed by a man called Kang Daniel.





	habits are hard to break

**Author's Note:**

> oh my god i didn't mean for it to be this long lol i was gonna make it a short but sweet one shot but it turned out like this - an emotional rollercoaster?
> 
> anyway enjoy this nielwink college au
> 
>  
> 
> [vietnamese translation](https://replei1998.wordpress.com/2017/09/03/trans-habits-are-hard-to-break/)

A boy named Park Jihoon wakes up at exactly seven in the morning everyday. After checking his phone for messages — at times, there's one from his mother asking how he's doing — he jumps out of bed and goes to the bathroom to attend to his personal business. A few minutes later, while scratching his head and trying to fix his wild but cute bedhead, he heads to his small but well-equipped kitchen. He grabs two eggs and attempts to fry it sunny side up, but ends up scrambled.

After eating the ruined eggs, he takes a shower and prepares for university. He spends about fifteen minutes in choosing an outfit, _go_ _d knows why_ , but still ends up with "weird and uncoordinated outfits" and according to Jihoon's best and only friend, Kwon Hyeop, the outfits are so weird that it "gives everyone a headache". But Jihoon doesn't really care and seems to think that his own fashion sense is perfect.

He usually spends the whole day at the university and after all his classes, he drags himself to a small but quaint coffee shop just around the corner of his apartment. He works there as a part-time barista and for Jihoon, his shift is the worst. It is the time when students flock to coffee shops like the one Jihoon's working in and buy their beloved lattes so they can stay awake and study their major subjects. It is also the time asshole customers tend to come and annoy him when he's working the counter.

After his shift ends, he goes back to his apartment and cook dinner. He usually eats easy-to-cook food like ramyeon. This boy really can't cook to save his own life. After dinner he studies for his classes the next day. Jihoon is a diligent student after all. Always gets straight A's, never breaks any school rules. That's the kind of boy he is. After studying for a while, he falls asleep, usually on his desk. He wakes up around midnight and crawls to his nice, fluffy bed, where his _Jigglypuff_ stuffed toy is always waiting.

This has happened everyday for the past two months. Without any hitch. He repeats even the stupid mistakes — ruining the eggs and choosing the most shock-inducing outfits. Jihoon never fails to do them. No one knows why this is so, but Hyeop once said, "Habits are hard to break."

 

 

 

 

 

When he started university, he lived in the university's provided dorm apartments with Hyeop. They planned to move out on their sophomore year and find a nice enough apartment near the school. They eagerly searched for a place, looking forward to leaving the smelly, noisy and hell-like dorms, and found a really quiet and pretty studio apartment with two bedrooms. They were so excited that they paid the rent in advance for half a year.

However, after their freshman year, Hyeop's parents decided to send him to a boarding school in England so he can play rugby — which his dad had always wanted to do, but wasn't able to. Hyeop didn't have a choice but to follow his parents. He loved them too much and couldn't bear to disobey their orders.

Since this happened, Jihoon felt sad and told his lone friend that he doesn't want to live in the apartment anymore. He's just going to be reminded of Hyeop and feel sad. But they already paid for the apartment so if Jihoon didn't want to live there, it would be a waste of money.

"Just live there. Maybe you can rent the other room so at least you can put it to good use. Perhaps you can even meet a new friend," Hyeop said to him while holding Jihoon's hand.

Jihoon thought that his best friend's hands were the warmest Jihoon has ever held in his entire existence. But he was sad so he couldn't appreciate it that much. If it were any other circumstances, he would've celebrated this. He's had a crush on Hyeop since they were in high school. It was hard for him to suddenly part with the boy he's always been with.

It was the last day he saw his best friend before he left for a country far away from their own. They said their farewells, and held back tears. It was the summer before his sophomore year and it was the saddest summer of his life.

 

 

 

 

 

Jihoon lived inside his own bubble for two months. With the same routine. Over and over.

Sometimes Hyeop called him, sometimes he didn't. Jihoon figured that his best friend was making new friends in his new school, that's why he's getting busier as days passed. It was getting lonely. Jihoon knew that he needed a friend — anyone breathing — who could make his life at least a little bit brighter. But he didn't dare to meet other people. He just wanted to be in his safe, uncomplicated world.

One day, Jihoon did his everyday habit of waking up then checking his phone for messages. There was one.

 

 **_From: Unsaved number_**  
**_Hey Mr. Park. I was wondering when I could move in? I talked to your friend already and paid the deposit and all those things. He said I can move in by tonight but that I should still ask you. — Daniel_ **

 

Jihoon opened his half-closed eyes in a flash and sat up on his bed, throwing the sheets aside. He immediately dialed his best friend's number despite knowing the time difference and waited for him to answer.

"Hell— "

"Who the fuck is Daniel? And what the fucking hell is he talking about?" Jihoon was fuming. Who the hell does Kwon Hyeop think he is?

Hyeop groaned, obviously still groggy from sleep. "Hoon-ah. I know you curse a lot when you're mad but please stop. I'm sorry. I posted a rent ad online for the other room. I just did what's best for you. I know you've been stuck with that routine everyday even if you don't tell me. I know you well enough to know that you've been sulki— "

"Who the hell are you to decide for my life? Fuck, I thought you cared about me?" It was getting harder for Jihoon to breathe. He was that angry. He didn't need a new friend. He just needed his own world to live in. Alone.

"I do care about you Hoon-ah. That's why I did this."

"If you think this is caring about me, then this friendship is over. Don't ever call me again!" Jihoon hung up his phone. His tears were threatening to fall. He just wanted to have a peaceful time by himself. He's gotten so used to living this way, that thinking about breaking his routine made him upset.

His phone vibrated and he looked at it.

 

 _**From: Hyeop** _  
_**Hoon-ah. I'm really sorry. I know you're planning to cancel the rent but you can't anymore. Daniel has already paid for it. I sent the money to your account already too. Besides, I think he's a nice guy. Give him a chance. Go be friends. I love you, okay? I just want you to be happy.** _

 

 _Happy, his ass._ Jihoon didn't reply to his best friend and looked at the stranger's text message instead. He wrote a reply for him.

 

 _**To: Daniel** _  
_**Yeah, you can move in tonight. Is 8 p.m. okay? I'll be coming home from my part-time job that time.** _

 

To make up for his dipshit attitude to his only close friend, he might as well be a little nice to his soon-to-be apartment-mate.

A few seconds later, a reply came.

 

 _**From: Daniel** _  
_**My last class finishes at 8:30. I'll just go to the apartment and knock, I guess.** _

 

Jihoon wondered what kind of person Daniel was. For sure he wasn't a freshman nor a sophomore, since he has evening classes. Only juniors and seniors have those. Which meant Daniel was older than him. _Daniel-hyung. Daniel-sunbaenim. What should I call him?_

He shook those thoughts away as he remembered he still has classes to attend. He continued what is to be his last, normal day doing his everyday habits.

 

 

 

 

 

He was working the counter again today in the small coffee shop named _A Whole Latte Love_ which he knew was corny — he said this once to his boss and cafe owner, Kim Taemin. His boss just waved him away and mumbled, "My little sister thought of the name so I got no complaints." From what Jihoon knew, Taemin-hyung's parents died already and he was left to take care of his sister. And that's why he cherished her very much.

The same guy was now working on the income and expenses of the week, sitting on a table near the window. His boss is a hard worker and Jihoon admired that.

It was a quiet shift. A little weird since by this time, some boys, who were their regulars, would be sipping their lattes while studying, occupying the last available table. But surprisingly, they weren't here today.

The cafe door opened and suddenly the usual boys came in.

_Ah, there they are._

There was an addition to their group, though, Jihoon noticed. He was a tall, wide man wearing a white polo and black pants. He had dark brown hair, a little on the reddish side. His skin was milky white. He only saw the man's back and side profile but still, this man was very very handsome, Jihoon thought. But he wasn't Jihoon's type. Jihoon liked guys like Hyeop. Small and cute. This man was the exact opposite. Although he was cute, Jihoon mused.

"This is the cafe we were talking about Professor Kang. They have the best latte here, I swear. I've tasted every other coffee existing in this campus but nothing else comes close," a handsome boy — Jihoon remembered his name was Hyunbin — said while laughing loudly, obviously flirting with the so-called Professor Kang.

The professor just smiled at the boys. Jihoon almost laughed at the boys sighing at the professor's beautiful, bright smile — not that Jihoon wasn't affected by this smile, he also thought it can make any person's day brighter.

The boys then sat at their usual table and decided what to order while the tall man headed for the counter.

Jihoon wasn't sure why because he saw his side profile already, but when the professor faced him, his breath caught in his throat.

_It's the first time he had ever seen a man this beautiful._

Jihoon noted that this man had a charming mole under his right eye, and when he smiled, his eyes become really small and a bit crinkly, his cheeks puff even fuller, and his lips curve up beautifully. He also had a really cute mini dimple on his left cheek unnoticeable from afar but now that he's near enough, Jihoon could perfectly see it.

"One tall vanilla latte please. Hot. No extra sugar, just normal." The professor's voice was a bit husky. Jihoon wondered what class he taught. He thought his students are lucky to hear this man's voice and to be taught by this beautiful man everyday.

"Uh, hello?" the man spoke again.

Jihoon realized that he was staring, face turning red. He got a hold of himself. "Coming right up."

He went to make the drink, and after a few minutes, it was done. He returned to the counter, "Here you go. That would be 3,000 won."

The man smiled and handed Jihoon a 5,000 won bill. As Jihoon was counting change, the man suddenly sputtered in the middle of drinking his latte.

"..what?" The professor looked confused, his brows pulled together in a cute frown.

"Is there any problem?" Jihoon was sincerely worried.

"I ordered vanilla latte, not caramel."

_Oh my god. I fucked up._

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry. I'll change it right away. Oh my god," Jihoon was flailing his hands while bowing again and again at the man, his face burning with shame.

To his surprise the man just laughs at him. It was as husky as his voice.

"You're so cute, you don't have to be that sorry. Just change the drink and it's fine. I seriously can't tolerate caramel, you know. If I could drink this, I wouldn't have to change the drink." He handed the drink back to Jihoon.

Jihoon said sorry one more time and proceeded to making a vanilla latte.

"Sorry sir. Here you go. Vanilla latte. This time it's right," Jihoon said apologetically with a small sheepish smile.

How could he make a fool of himself in front of the most beautiful man he had ever seen? Just his luck. Maybe this is the karma for cursing at Hyeop this morning.

Hyeop. Just thinking about him made Jihoon a little bit sad.

"Are you okay?" the man noticed Jihoon's smile slipping.

"Of course sir. Again, I'm sorry. Have a good day."

"You too, Park Jihoon," the professor squinted at his name tag.

Wow, his name sounded really nice coming from the beautiful man's lips.

 

 

 

 

 

Aside from the encounter with that man that probably fell down from heaven — Jihoon thought he's seriously that beautiful — the rest of his shift was uneventful.

He was tired, as usual, but he drags himself back to his apartment. He remembered that his new flatmate would move in tonight. _Daniel-hyung._ It's almost eight o'clock.

The first thing he did when he arrived home was to make ramyeon. He was starving. He made it in record time — well since this is the only food Jihoon can make. He was scarfing down his food when he heard someone knock on the door. It must be Daniel.

"Wait a sec, I'm coming!" Jihoon stopped slurping on his noodles and went to the door. When he swung the door open, his jaw almost dropped to the floor.

"Professor Kang? What are you doing here?" Jihoon was really really confused, the corners of his mouth lowering down to a frown.

The professor was equally confused. "I'm going to live here?" The man's lips formed an o-shape. "Are you Mr. Park? I remember from earlier, your name is Park Jihoon."

"Wait. Are you Daniel? _THE_ Daniel?"

"Yes. My name is Kang Daniel."

Jihoon didn't know what to feel. He didn't want this man to intrude on his life. But at the same time... he didn't mind living with a man like Kang Daniel.

"...I see. I'm Park Jihoon. Nice to meet you...uh...what should I call you?"

"Daniel-hyung is fine. I know you're younger based on how you look. And...you? What should I call you?"

"Just Jihoon."

"Just Jihoon. Got that. Okay Just Jihoon, can I come in now? The smell of ramyeon is tempting. Also I need to unpack my stuff."

Jihoon laughed at that unexpected Just Jihoon joke. Daniel thought that the other boy is beautiful when he laughed. His aura felt lighter and his eyes sparkled. Not to mention Daniel thought that Jihoon had the most beautiful eyes he had ever looked at.

 

 

 

 

 

The night was unexpectedly calm. Jihoon retreated to his room after dinner and Daniel unpacked his belongings.

That was it, Jihoon thought, with relief. Maybe it won't be that bad, living with another soul in this hopeless place.

This was his last thought before drifting off to sleep.

The next morning, Jihoon proceeded with his everyday routine. He woke up, checked his phone for messages — there was one from his mother — got out of the bed and went to the bathroom to do his business.

A few minutes later, he was surprised when a shirtless Kang Daniel, eyes half-closed, rubbing his face and with hair looking like a bird's nest, waltzed into the bathroom (the apartment only had one so they needed to share).

"What the fuck Kang Daniel?! What the fuck?!"

This startled Daniel out of his stupor. His milky white face and his ears turned into a berry red color while his eyes opened wide, all the way this time. He turned around and shut the door, mumbling a sorry.

"Oh my god. For god's sake please put on a shirt! And don't come inside while I'm doing my business!" the smaller boy hissed. Jihoon is sometimes moody in the morning. Remember the incident with Hyeop yesterday?

"The door wasn't closed. And ya, stop cursing and shouting at me, I'm still older than you, you know!" Daniel retorted back.

Jihoon knew that the older was right but he didn't like losing. "Well, that doesn't explain why you were shirtless."

Daniel was quiet. Ha, I won this time.

Jihoon was finished with his business and came out. Daniel was sitting in the chair Hyeop picked out for the apartment. He could see that Daniel's face and ears already faded into a nice pink.

He just stood in front of the bathroom door, marveling at how good his hyung looked in the morning when Daniel's soft voice broke the silence.

"I... sleep naked. I'm used to it, and I thought you wouldn't mind."

Jihoon blushed at this statement. "I... ah.. not.. I'm not used to it hyung," the younger stammers.

"Ah. I see. Alright, I'll keep my clothes on starting now."

Jihoon felt weird after Daniel said this, and blushed even more. In his mind, he was recalling how godly Daniel's body looked naked. Too bad he won't get see it anymore.

Ugh Jihoon stop thinking about those kinds of things. You pervert.

It was now Daniel's turn to use the bathroom so Jihoon went to the kitchen to cook eggs. A moment later..

"What are you doing?"

Jihoon let out a yelp when a voice startled him. He looked quickly to his side and found Daniel's face an inch away from his.

Daniel took the pan away from Jihoon.

"I'll handle this. I told you last night that I can cook really well right? Just sit down and watch the master do it." Daniel had a smug face on and smiled at Jihoon.

Despite being annoyed at that smug face, Jihoon almost melted into a puddle of goo under Daniel's feet.

He sat on the kitchen table with his head over his palms as he watched the older boy cook with precision and skilled hands. Jihoon was sure that the man in front him isn't a stranger to cooking.

A few minutes later, Daniel put a plate of fluffy, delicious looking scrambled eggs in front of the younger boy's eager face.

"Itadakimasu!"

Jihoon dug in and sure enough, it was the most delicious scrambled eggs he had tasted in his life.

Daniel looked at Jihoon's satisfied face in delight.

"Good right?" He smiled at Jihoon, eyes getting smaller again. When he's like this, Jihoon thought the professor looked like those big dogs you see on instagram. Those cute fluffy ones.

"Hmmm," Jihoon moaned.

There was a small piece of egg stuck in Jihoon's lips. Daniel saw it and before he could stop himself, he wiped those plump, red lips using his finger. Jihoon's lips were so so soft, Daniel noted.

Jihoon stopped eating. When his hyung did that he felt really weird. His body was starting to heat. "What are you doing Daniel-hyung?"

Daniel turned bright pink, smiled sheepishly and said, his eyes boring into Jihoon's pretty ones, "There was a piece of egg on your lip."

Jihoon thought that Daniel could've just pointed that out to him. He didn't need to do that but... he did. And it's making Jihoon feel weird things.

 

 

 

 

 

The rest of the day was the same for Jihoon. He went to his classes, to his part-time job — Daniel stopped by and ordered vanilla latte again — and then, home.

When Jihoon arrived at the apartment, he received a message from Daniel saying not to cook anything. He will buy groceries and make something special to celebrate his moving in.

So what Jihoon did was study for the next day.

Daniel made it home by nine. He went inside the apartment and started to cook right away. He whipped up a mean platter of spicy chicken wings.

They ate together while talking about what happened to their day. Jihoon talks about his classes, Daniel about his students. It was comfortable and nice being like this, Jihoon thought. _I wouldn't mind doing this everyday._

At this point he realized something. This was the day when Jihoon started to break his habits. And it's all because of a man named Kang Daniel.

 

They stayed like this everyday. Without any hitch. Again and again. This time, Jihoon wasn't lonely anymore.

 

It wasn't long since Jihoon started talking to Hyeop again. Hyeop was the first one who called, worried about how Jihoon was holding up with having a new flatmate.

"I'm doing fine, Hyeop. Actually, I'm doing good. Daniel-hyung is really nice and he feeds me well too."

Hyeop sighed in relief. "Thank god. I thought you were gonna end up hating him and then kick him out."

Jihoon laughed genuinely. "No, I won't. If I did, I'll starve."

"Good."

"Uh, Hyeop?"

"Yeah?"

"I just wanna say thanks. For doing all this for me. I appreciate it a lot. Also, I'm sorry for cursing at you that morning."

"I'm used to you cursing at me, Hoon-ah. We're best friends remember?"

 

 

 

 

 

It has been three weeks since Daniel moved in.

When Jihoon woke up, it was raining heavily outside. _Hmm bed weather,_ he thought. However this happy thought didn't last when he remembered he has classes.

_Ugh, I don't want to go to uni._

There was suddenly a knock on his door. It opened and a smiling head peeked in.

"Jihoon-ah, classes are cancelled for today."

"Oh my god seriously hyung? Yaaaay oh my god!" Jihoon stood up and hopped up and down on his bed.

Daniel laughed at the boy. He thought Jihoon was ridiculously cute, childish but very cute.

"Hey, let's watch a movie. We haven't done that before right?" Daniel asked, hoping.

Jihoon considered it, a finger on his chin. "Hmm okay but only if there's hot chocolate and snacks!"

"Call."

 

 

 

 

 

Daniel was preparing the hot choco, not wanting Jihoon to accidentally set their apartment on fire, while the latter was choosing a movie to watch.

"Hyung, how about _Paranormal Activity_?"

Jihoon looked at Daniel and saw that the man's big body was shaking.

"Oh my god hyung, are you scared?" Jihoon laughs.

Daniel felt embarrassed that Jihoon had to find that out. Truth is he didn't like ghosts and such stuff.

After whipping up the hot chocolate, Daniel sat next to Jihoon on the apartment's lone couch. He also brought some snacks to eat during the movie.

Jihoon felt pity for the older boy so he just chose a movie called _A Walk To Remember_. It was a love story of a sick, dying girl and a guy who fell in love with her. Jihoon was secretly a romantic. He was a sucker for stories like these. Jihoon didn't know how well it will sit with Daniel, and he was curious, so he watched him from time to time during the movie.

At one point during the movie, the part where the couple were getting married even when they knew that the girl was going to die, Jihoon was surprised to see Daniel's eyes sparkling.

"Hyung, are you tearing up?" Jihoon laughed.

"No, I'm not."

"Yes, you are. What's in your eyes, then? I'm pretty sure those are tears," Jihoon pointed at Daniel's eyes with a finger.

Daniel grabbed Jihoon's finger and retorted with a serious face, "I'm. Not. Crying. My eyes are just taking a bath."

The younger laughed very hard at the lame joke. He didn't understand why it was funny to him because it was supposed to be lame but he couldn't help laughing, so much that he himself formed tears in his eyes.

"You look so pretty when you laugh, Jihoon-ah."

 _What?_ Jihoon stopped laughing, looked towards his hyung and tilted his head. Daniel just patted the boys head, smiling and sighing, "So pretty."

There was a wild, beating roar inside Jihoon's chest. It rendered him speechless. He could only stare at the man sitting beside him, wondering what was this weird, bursting feeling in his chest.

 

 

 

 

 

The night came and it was still raining heavily. The two boys already ate dinner — Daniel made kimchi stew, and it was the best, especially with the weather. They were preparing for bed when suddenly, a loud thunder disturbed the steady pitter-patter of rain.

"Ahhhh!"

Daniel ran to the other room, becoming worried after he heard a scream from there.

When he threw the door open, Jihoon was sitting on the floor beside his bed. The smaller boy was covering his ears, breathing heavily with both of his eyes closed in fear.

Daniel's legs automatically moved and dashed towards Jihoon. He had this need to protect the very, very scared boy. He put his arms around Jihoon and held him tightly.

"It's okay now Jihoon, I'm here."

After a few minutes of stroking Jihoon's hair and telling him to breathe in and out, Daniel was glad to see that he was at least breathing properly again. He made him sit on the bed and ran quickly to the kitchen to get a glass of water.

When he came back, the boy seemed to be doing fine already.

"Here's water. Drink. It will make you feel better."

Jihoon took the glass, his hands still shaking a little. "Thanks hyung."

He drank almost the whole glass. Well, now that his fear is revealed, he figured that it was time to tell his story. They were close enough to share this, he thought.

"Daniel-hyung. Do you wanna hear the reason why I'm scared of thunder?"

Daniel considered this. "Would you be fine telling it to me? I mean, won't you remember something that can trigger you again?"

"Thanks for worrying hyung. It's fine. Also, telling the story will probably help." Daniel's presence also helped, but Jihoon wasn't going to say that out loud.

"Okay, then. I'll be here. I'll listen." Daniel sat down beside Jihoon and held his hand.

Jihoon took a deep breath. "Here goes. When I was young...."

 

 

 

 

 

Jihoon still remembered it vividly. The night that probably scarred him forever.

He was nine years old. It was a stormy Tuesday night and his father was still not home. It was unusual for his father to go home this late, especially on a Tuesday. He was usually home by seven. It was already nine. He asked his mother about it but she only said, "Don't worry and go to bed, Hoon-ah. Your father is just working overtime tonight. Don't wait up for him. It's late. It's time for bed."

So Jihoon went to his room and prepared to go to sleep. He didn't like disobeying his mom.

His family was rich. His father managed a company and it's doing fairly well. His mother handled a chain of restaurants all over the country. They lived in a huge house in Gangnam. Everything about him screamed rich.

His room was really big. His bed was comfortable. He lied in it that night while he wondered what time his father would come home.

_Crash._

There was a huge thunderclap. He wasn't scared of thunder yet during this time, so Jihoon closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep.

_Crash._

 

It hasn't been twenty minutes since he slept, but Jihoon woke up. And not because of the thunder. It was because an unfamiliar man wearing a black mask was standing beside his bed, covering his mouth.

Jihoon tried to scream but it was no use. He could only whimper and cry, as the strange man put tape on his mouth.

The man put his face near Jihoon's, fondled the small boy's hair and said, "Shh, darling boy. I just need to take you somewhere, okay? If you stay quiet, I won't hurt you."

His breath smelled really bad.

Jihoon could only whimper, again. In his mind, thoughts like _Am I gonna die?_  kept on entering.

"I just need money, alright. Only that. I'll take you then ask money from your father, then let you go after that. See, that's okay right?"

 _No, it's not._ The man looked crazy. Jihoon thought he probably was.

The man was bounding his wrists together with tape. The very frightened boy cried harder.

"I said shut up, you annoying shit! Do you want me to hurt you?"

Jihoon cried even harder.

The man slapped Jihoon hard across the face.

"I said—"

The door to the room suddenly opened.

"Hoon-ah, I'm sorry I just got—" Jihoon's father stopped talking when he saw what was happening in front of him.

The kidnapper suddenly pulled out a gun and pointed it at Jihoon's head. "Don't move or I'll shoot your precious son!"

Jihoon cried. It was the only thing he could do. _Will father also die?_

Jihoon's father was brave, though. It was one of the things Jihoon loved about him. He wasn't scared of anything. He promised Jihoon that he will protect him from all the bad guys.

His father took a step towards Jihoon.

"I said don't move, fuck!" The man's hands were sharing. His hands were on the trigger.

His father took another step.

_Bang. Bang._

_Crash._

Two loud gunshots and booming thunder clap echoed throughout the room.

Everything happened so fast. The man had pointed the gun at his father and pulled the trigger twice. Then the criminal ran to the window and jumped out to escape.

Jihoon stood up, hands still bound, and went to his father's side. His father was bleeding.

"..what?" Jihoon's mother arrived at his room, eyes wide and mouth open. "Jihoon what happened?!" Then she ran to the hallway again, probably to phone an ambulance.

When she came back, she untied Jihoon and removed the tape from his mouth. She hugged Jihoon tightly and stroked his hair. "My dear son, what happened? Are you okay?"

Jihoon could answer the first question but not the second one.

 

 

 

 

 

At some parts of the story, Daniel's brow furrowed and his grip on Jihoon's hand tightened. At some, Daniel wanted to hold the boy tightly.

"The criminal still hasn't been caught. That's probably why I'm scared of thunder. I feel like he would return to kill me anytime. The good thing is that my father didn't die. But after that incident, the doctor told him he won't be able to walk again. He uses a wheelchair now. But at least he's still alive. After all this time, I still think everything was my fault—"

"What? Jihoon, it's not your fault."

"I know. My mother told me that. My father, too. Hyeop did too. But I still can't help it. If I didn't exist—"

Daniel put his arms around Jihoon. "Shush. Jihoon-ah. Your existence is a beautiful thing. Look how you've grown into a beautiful young man. I'm sure your parents, especially your father, think so too."

Daniel then caressed Jihoon's face and kissed the boy's forehead, gently. "You're beautiful, Jihoon."

Jihoon was so touched that his eyes got teary.

_Crash._

A thunder, again. Jihoon closed his eyes and tried to cover his ears, but Daniel was already covering it with his hands. "Breathe. I'm here."

Daniel's very presence calmed Jihoon's scared heart. But at the same time it made his heart beat into overdrive with something else.

 

 

 

 

 

"I don't think I can leave you alone now Jihoon."

"Hyung, I'll be fine. Go to your room and sleep. I already bothered you so much."

  
"No. Move over and give me some space. I'll sleep beside you."

"Hyung—"

"Park Jihoon." Daniel was serious.

Jihoon thought it wasn't such a bad idea to sleep with Daniel. The problem is, will he be able to control himself from doing something... hmm..

He gave up and sighed, "Alright. Suit yourself."

Daniel turned on the cute _Jigglypuff_ nightlight on Jihoon's wall and turned off the fluorescent lights. It gave the room a soft feeling.

Jihoon scooted over, and Daniel went under the covers with him. Thank god the bed was big for the both of them. Daniel was a big man, with those wide shoulders. Although, Jihoon wouldn't mind sleeping in a smaller bed just to be closer to Daniel.

They were quiet for a few minutes, both staring at the ceiling.

"Jihoon?"

"Hm?"

"I'm just wondering, who helped you during those other times there's a thunderstorm?" Daniel turned his body so he could face Jihoon.

"Hmm, when I was younger, my parents. Sometimes my mother would sleep next to me, when it got really bad. When I started high school, it was Hyeop. He always comforted me by talking, but he didn't really stay with me like this.."

"Hyeop? Jihoon, tell me the truth, do you like that guy?" Daniel's voice was weird and his brows were furrowed.

"He is my best and only friend.. Of course I did."

"I didn't mean that. I meant.. if you like him.. in a special way."

Ah. Jihoon wasn't sure if he should tell Daniel. But... Daniel deserved only the truth.

"Yes.. he was probably my first love," Jihoon frowned.

"Do you still like him that way?"

"Honestly, I don't really know. I mean, I haven't seen him in a while..." If Jihoon was honest with himself, maybe he didn't like Hyeop that way anymore. He didn't even think of Hyeop that way starting.. the day he met Daniel...? _Ah, this feeling Jihoon was experiencing when he's with Daniel, could it be..?_

"Jihoon-ah."

"Hm?"

"I like you."

"Okay hyung."

_Wait. What? What did Daniel-hyung just say?_

"...that's it? Okay?" Daniel's face was pink, embarrassed that he might be rejected right then and there.

"Oh my god hyung did you just—"

"Yes. I like you. So much that I want to do everything for you. When you smile, it makes my heart want to jump out of my chest. I like—"

Jihoon knew he wouldn't be able to control himself. He couldn't help but place a soft kiss on Daniel's lips.

It was only a second. But his soul almost left his body.

He was pulling his head away so he can at least calm himself down, but Daniel didn't give him a chance to. One of his hands held Jihoon's chin and another pulled his body closer. When their lips touched again, it was sweet. Jihoon sighed on Daniel's lips. Daniel felt the sigh and the way Jihoon was reacting made him feel hot and deepened the kiss. He caressed his tongue through the boy's wet lips. Jihoon felt surprised and moaned a little loudly. He was inexperienced so he had no idea if kisses generally felt this good but damn. Kissing was nice. But kissing Daniel was probably a life-changing experience.

Daniel suddenly turned over so he was now hovering Jihoon. The younger couldn't get enough so he grabbed Daniel's hair with both hands and lower his head to meet his own. This time the kiss felt intense. Their lips didn't seem to get tired of finding each other. One time, Jihoon dared to slip his tongue between Daniel's warm lips, and the older was so surprised and turned on that he responded by biting Jihoon's lower lip. Which Jihoon liked very, very much, so he got a little carried away and slid his hands to Daniel's neck, then to his chest, to his stomach, and then to the edge of Daniel's shirt. Jihoon started to lift the shirt up to remove it, but Daniel suddenly stopped the kiss and rested his forehead on Jihoon's.

"Jihoon-ah," Daniel pants. "You drive me crazy."

Jihoon whined, "Hyung, why'd you stop?"

Daniel kissed the boy's forehead. "Let's calm down and take this slow, okay?"

Jihoon was about to whine again and complain but Daniel looked like he wasn't going to budge. He wanted to at least kiss more, but Daniel held him so they we're spooning. He could feel Daniel's breath on the back of his head, so how could he calm down? _This is unfair._

Well. At least now he has confirmed his feelings. And he was glad that Daniel felt the same way.

"Hyung, you drive me crazy too."

 

 

 

 

 

The first thing Daniel saw when he woke up was Jihoon's gentle face.

He remembered what happened the previous night and blushed furiously. _Nothing really happened but at the same time everything happened. Does that even make sense?_

He stared at Jihoon's sleeping face. He's really beautiful. Daniel couldn't help it, he touched the boy's brow, then his eye, his nose and then his lips. Daniel wanted to kiss it again, but he needed to control himself.

The touch prompted Jihoon to turn to his other side. Again, Daniel couldn't help it. He went closer and cuddled Jihoon. It made the younger boy sigh in his sleep. Daniel leaned even closer and smelled Jihoon's hair. It smells a little bit like coffee. His hours of working in the coffee shop made his hair smell like this, even if he showered. Daniel liked it though. He especially loved the smell of coffee.

"Hmmm.." Jihoon moved a little. "Hyung?" The younger boy was awake.

"Hm?"

"I need to go to the bathroom."

"Oh." Daniel let go of the boy and sat up on the bed. Jihoon was also sitting down on the bed.

"Hyung?"

"Hm?"

Jihoon stole a good morning kiss from Daniel and quickly ran to the bathroom. It made Daniel smile and chuckle. That kid. Really cute.

 

Their routines stayed the same, despite the difference in their relationship. Although kisses and cuddles were added to their everyday life.

Jihoon always sneaked kisses with Daniel whenever and wherever possible. When they're watching a movie at home, when Daniel is cooking, and sometimes even when they're in the university.

"We have to be careful though. Someone might see us. I'm still a teacher here, and you're a student. It's not allowed. I feel guilt too you know." Daniel scolded Jihoon a bit. They were in a deserted hallway near Daniel's class. It was break time so no one was there. Everyone was in the cafeteria, courtyard or library.

Jihoon tiptoed and pecked Daniel's lips again, smiling. "Alright, I will. Don't frown too much, Mr. Kang. No one will know."

"Why do I feel like I'm taking advantage of you? You're so cute," Daniel cooed and then pressed his lips to Jihoon's one last time before going their separate ways.

 

 

 

 

 

The two formed a sort of habit. Well, not habit. More like a special thing between them. Every Friday, Daniel did something for Jihoon.

The first Friday, Daniel asked Jihoon out to watch a movie at the cinema. Jihoon was ecstatic, since he hasn't watched a movie in a while and it was the first time to watch a movie with a boyfriend.

They watched the new Spider-Man movie even though Daniel liked Iron Man more and Jihoon liked Captain America. During the movie, Jihoon tried to do cute things that couples usually do in the cinema. First, he put his hand on the armrest next to Daniel's. He didn't want to grab Daniel's hand first. He wanted to check if his hyung would take the bait.

Daniel glanced at his hand, and then enfolded into his own. Jackpot, Jihoon mused.

After that he tried leaning into Daniel, and see if he will put an arm over his shoulders. It also worked. Jihoon looked around if anyone was looking, and seeing no other soul in proximity, he cuddled into Daniel's neck.

"Hyung."

"Hm?"

"Hyung~" Daniel looked at Jihoon and saw that the boy was pouting his lip. He laughed softly and pressed a kiss to the boy's waiting mouth.

Jackpot, Jihoon thought. "Hyung, you're so easy." Jihoon laughed at Daniel.

Daniel fake frowned and pinched the tip of Jihoon's nose. "Who are you calling easy? Thank god you're cute or else."

Jihoon just laughed. Everytime he's with Daniel, he just felt happy and safe. He wanted to stay like this forever.

The next Friday, they went to a quiet French restaurant in Gangnam. It was vintage, and Daniel knew the food there was delicious. He liked going to restaurants and trying out their menu. He also liked seeing Jihoon eat, the boy doesn't hide his hmm-so-delicious face when he's eating. It made Daniel happy.

The next, they stayed home but Daniel bought take out and Jenga. Daniel remembered Jihoon saying that he liked these kinds of games and that he's very competitive. Daniel wanted to confirm it, and he was able to. Jihoon was indeed a fighter in these games. Daniel got his butt kicked and won the game only once. Because he lost, Jihoon got his prize, which was a kiss. Not that they don't do that a lot anyway.

 

 

 

 

 

The next Monday, when Jihoon got to school, he felt weird. He felt like all eyes were on him. He glanced at the other students and he wasn't wrong. They were all staring at him and whispering among each other.

The group of boys who were regulars in the coffee shop Jihoon greeted were also whispering in the hallway. Their leader's name was Kim Donghan, if he remembered correctly, a pretty boy with a different hair color every two weeks.

When Jihoon walked past them, that boy — Donghan — whispered, "Slut."

Jihoon stopped walking and looked at Donghan, to see if he was talking about him. Maybe he just misheard. But when he looked, Donghan was staring at him with a poisonous smirk.

 _What did I do? Oh my god._ Jihoon turned around and ran all the way to his class. _W_ _hat did I do?_

However, when he arrived at this class, his classmates were also whispering while looking at him. Jihoon almost ran away but told himself that he didn't do anything wrong... _right?_

He sat down on his chair, avoiding all their glances, feeling uncomfortable. The student sitting next to him was the only one quiet, nervously writing on his notebook. He was a studious boy wearing thick glasses — his name was Lai Guanlin, Jihoon thought. He didn't really talk to anyone at school. It just drained him to get to know a lot of people. So he just didn't make an effort.

Guanlin suddenly stood up and faced Jihoon, and since Jihoon was looking at him right when he did, he was very surprised.

"Uh.." He adjusted his glasses, wiped his hands on his pants and made it into fists. Jihoon was just looking at him, confused.

"He-here," Guanlin threw a piece of paper in Jihoon's desk. "I-I'm sorry." Then he ran out of the classroom to god knows where.

Jihoon stared at the paper in front of him. He wondered what was in the paper. If that kid can't say it in front of him, then maybe it was important? So Jihoon decided to read it outside. He opened the paper. It was a paragraph, written by obviously shaking hands.

 

_**Park Jihoon.** _

_**I want to say sorry. I did this to you. I'm sure you're wondering why people are whispering about you. I did it. Everything was my fault. I didn't mean to do it. I just did it because I like you. I'm so sorry.** _

 

 _What?_ It just made Jihoon more confused. _What could that kid possibly do to me?_

It was then that Jihoon's professor arrived in class. Before he went inside, he saw Jihoon so he called him and said that Jihoon was asked to come to the disciplinary office.

_What the fuck was happening?_

When he got to the disciplinary office, he was ushered to meet the office head right away.

"Okay Mr. Park, I won't make this long," The head slid a photo in front of Jihoon. It was a blurred photo of him and Daniel, kissing in the deserted hallway. "Someone sent in this photo anonymously, through the school's email. I don't know how but it also got posted in an anonymous Twitter account."

Jihoon could feel his world crashing down in an instant. What? How? Then he remembered that Guanlin boy's note. It must be him.

"We already confirmed it with Mr. Kang. He said that yes, it was the two of you. Now, you know, he made a deal with us. He'll leave the university voluntarily if you were not dismissed or affected in any way. We agreed to that. However, you have to spend some time for community service."

Jihoon wasn't listening anymore. There was a loud ringing in his ears. His breathing labored. His sight was slowly losing focus.

"Mr. Park, are you okay?"

He took a deep breath and pulled himself back to earth. It took a lot of effort, but he had to be strong. For Daniel.

"Yes sir, I understand."

"I guess you do. Now go back to class. You can come back later to check your community service schedule."

"Okay."

When Jihoon left the office, he briefly recalled what the head said. _He'll leave the university..._

So he ran, first to the professors' office. But Daniel wasn't there anymore. All of his things were gone, too.

_Fuck. Where is he?_

The next place he ran to was their apartment. He ran as fast as he could, despite the cold November air. Maybe Daniel was there? Since he was dismissed, maybe he was resting?

Jihoon arrived at the apartment, expecting that Daniel will welcome him as usual, with his warm smile that made his insides melt. But Daniel wasn't there. He checked his room and his clothes were gone. He looked around the room and sat down the older boy's bed, sighing. _Did hyung just really.. give up?_ It wasn't long when Jihoon's back started to move up and down, huge sobs wracking his body.

He was so happy the past two months. So so happy. _Is this the price he needed to pay for too much happiness?_

He lied down in the bed so he could curl himself up in a ball. When he did, he felt something on his back. He took it into his hands. It has Daniel's handwriting on it. He sat up again to read.

 

**_Jihoon-ah_ **

**_By the time you read this, you probably know about everything already. First, I just want to say, I'm sorry. Please, be mad at me. You have every right to be. I know how painful it is when someone leaves. Scream at me, curse at me, go ahead._ **  
**_Second. There is a reason why I left. Aside from the school dismissing me, it's because of you. I'm worried about what people will think of you if we still lived together. I'm worried for your future. Even now, I don't know how this will affect you. That's why I made a deal with the university. I didn't want to endanger you more than I already have. I don't want to ruin you Jihoon.. I told you once before right? I felt like I'm taking advantage of you. I'm 26 already, and you're 18. You have a great road ahead of you, I'm sure._ **  
**_Last. Jihoon-ah. I love you. Not like. Love. I know it's unfair for me to say this. But believe me. I only want what's the best for you. That's what I always think about every day. Your happiness and your future. I wanted to be in your future, but sometimes life doesn't really go how we want it to._ **

  
**_I'm sorry Jihoon-ah. Goodbye._ **

**_Daniel_ **

 

By the end of the letter, Jihoon was a sobbing mess. His face was red and his tears were everywhere.

"Hyung, you're so unfair!" He screamed on his hyung's pillow. It smelled like Daniel. _What, happi_ _ness and future? Bullshit._ Daniel was Jihoon's happiness. And like Daniel, Jihoon was hoping he could be his future too.

Still crying, Jihoon curled up on Daniel's bed and after spending more time crying, he drifted off to sleep, surrounded with Daniel's scent that he craved and loved.

 

 

 

 

 

It has been two weeks. Jihoon went back to his former routine. The whispers stopped after a few days because people already lost interest. Jihoon's mind and heart was full of loneliness. And Daniel. Sometimes he wondered, what if he called Daniel and begged for him to come back, would he?

 _Nah. As if Daniel was going to come back._ When Daniel made up his mind, he didn't budge anymore. Jihoon knew this. That's why he has lost all hope, since the beginning.

There was something different in his routine though. Every Friday, someone — Jihoon didn't know who — left something in his locker. First it was his favorite snack. Next it was a pink winter jacket. His favorite color. _Whoever this was, he definitely knows me well,_ Jihoon thought. But the boy didn't dwell on it that much. He was still thinking about Daniel, usually worried how Daniel was doing, wondering if he was eating and sleeping well. Wondering if Daniel missed him.

Ah, there was also something else worth noting. During his part-time shift, a man named Ong Seongwoo suddenly started coming, a few days after Daniel left. He was a talkative man. He always asked Jihoon about his day, and what he ate and if he slept properly the previous night. Jihoon didn't respond at first though, he thought Seongwoo was an annoying ass. But after a few days, he started to respond to Seongwoo's warmth.

Seongwoo was cheerful, always joking, making faces, and laughing. When he noticed that Jihoon wasn't smiling, he made sure that the boy smiled and laughed because of him. It made Jihoon a little less lonelier, but of course, nothing could feel the void deep within his heart. Only one person could fill it.

 

 

 

 

 

It was a crisp November afternoon. Jihoon's shift today was uneventful and as usual, Seongwoo was bothering him.

"Hm, so you're going to the university's pre-Thanksgiving function thingy tonight?" Seongwoo inquired.

"Yeah. It's not like I have a choice. I'm required to go for community service," Jihoon frowned.

"Yaaaa, what did I tell you about frowning? It makes you look uncute and way older, so don't do it," the man said. Jihoon started to smile because Seongwoo was making weird faces again. "There, see that wasn't so bad," Seongwoo said. He looked at his watch, "Ah shit I have to go. Have a good night later Jihoon. Try to enjoy the function at least. Maybe you'll find someone there," he waggled his eyebrows at Jihoon and it looked so ridiculous that Jihoon laughed.

Seongwoo wasn't so bad. Jihoon actually liked it when he came to the cafe. He pretended like he was annoyed but actually, Seongwoo's personality was so refreshing. It shone a small ray of sunshine in his empty heart.

After his shift, Jihoon went to the university for the function. The disciplinary officer told him that he needed to help in serving food for a while and then after that he can go, or stay if he wanted to.

He did what he was told. The party started. There were a lot of old people eating and talking together. He scrunched his nose. He didn't like these kinds of events. He'd rather stay home. After a while, the officer told him that his work was finished and he could go if he wanted to. He gladly said he'll go home.

He went to the bathroom to change back to his normal clothes — he was asked to wear this white polo, black pants, and bow tie ensemble that screamed _waiter_. Jihoon wore the pink jacket that his secret friend — or admirer — left on his locker. He found it really pretty so he tried to wear it for tonight.

When he was about to go out the event hall, rain started to fall from the sky. _Great._ Jihoon didn't have an umbrella today too.

He just lifted the jacket's hoodie over his head and started walking home.

 

 

 

 

 

"Really? He's going to an event tonight? That's good then. I hope he enjoys it," Daniel said on his phone. His best friend, Ong Seongwoo, called him and updated him about Jihoon. Since Daniel left Jihoon's apartment, he has been staying at his parents' house. He was looking for a new teaching job in his town. But so far, there wasn't anything he's remotely interested in.

"Yeah, I told him that too. That boy needs to loosen up, he's too lonely," Seongwoo told his friend. "Hey, if you're sure you're not going to date him again, can I have him? He's so pretty. It's a wonder he agreed to date you. He probably has low standards."

"Ya, Seongwoo. Don't ever lay a finger on him. Or else."

"Or else what? What will you do? Kill me? Protect him from me? You can't even come close to him now."

Daniel hated his friend's words. It was right and it made him frustrated. "Just.. stay away from him. Okay? He's a very special boy. He's... fragile. And also, I happen to know that you're not his type." Daniel was bluffing, but he didn't care. He just wanted Seongwoo to not pursue Jihoon.

"Reaaaaally. But why does he smile everytime he sees me? And why does he laugh a lot when he's with me? Ah, and after he laughs, he sighs like—"

"Don't ever call me again you fucker." Daniel hung up on Seongwoo. He couldn't take it anymore. He was mad because even Seongwoo knew about that habit of Jihoon's. Only Daniel was supposed to know about that. He suddenly remembered that when they kiss, Jihoon sighs like—

_Stop. Thinking. About. Jihoon._

He stopped himself from drifting towards naughty thoughts and continued job hunting on the internet.

After a while of searching — he felt a little sleepy — he was surprised when a weird alarm went off on his phone.

 _..what alarm was this?_ He checked his phone and it says, **THUNDERSTORM ALERT TONIGHT.**

He remembered he set up this alarm for Jihoon. He downloaded an app that notified him whenever there would be a thunderstorm.

_Shit. Jihoon was in an event, right? Who will take care of him? He will be so scared._

_No. Daniel. Don't make this hard for yourself._

Daniel was having an internal battle with himself.

_Knock knock._

His door opened and his mother peeked inside. "Niel-ah. It's almost dinnertime." His mother noticed his son's very pale face. "Are you okay? You look sick."

She went inside his room and put a hand on Daniel's forehead. "You don't have a fever. But you don't look okay. Is there a problem?"

Daniel decided to ask his mother something. "Mom. When you dated dad, how did you feel?"

His mother was taken aback by that question. "Uhm, I felt in love. I always wanted to see your father happy. I always wanted to be with him. And I always want to protect him, even though I am small and probably cannot handle a fight," his mother chuckled.

"And what if you think something bad happened to dad?"

"I won't think twice. I'll go find him, wherever he may be and whatever it may take."

Daniel had decided. "Thanks mom, love you." He ran out of his room and out of his house.

His mother smiled after his son, proud. Seongwoo had been feeding her information about Jihoon too. She was glad that her son finally decided to choose his own happiness.

Outside their house, Daniel called for a cab to take him to the train station. It takes two hours from his hometown to where Jihoon was, but he didn't care. He just needed to get to Jihoon, whatever it takes.

 

 

 

 

 

Jihoon was walking on the street, hurrying since he was getting soaked already.

_Crash._

The small boy's heart almost stopped upon hearing the deafening sound of thunder. On instinct, he sat on the ground and curled into a ball, his eyes closed, hands over his ears.

Daniel wasn't there to comfort him. No one was there.

He needed to be strong. But his insides were making it hard. He breathed in and out quickly, feeling like he would run out of air soon. His vision became blurry and his mind went blank. He was completely sitting on the wet ground, on his butt now. He didn't really notice anymore. He just wanted...to be safe...

The last thing he saw before he blacked out was a familiar, worried face running towards him.

_"Daniel-hyung..."_

 

 

 

 

 

Daniel was worried. It was raining hard already. But there was no thunder yet, thank god.

_Only ten minutes and I'm there, Jihoon. Wait for me. I'll protect you._

Finally, he got off the train. He ran, ran, ran and then he was in front of the event hall. He ran inside and searched, but Jihoon wasn't there. He checked everywhere.

He ran again, going outside. Jihoon was probably going home. So Daniel ran towards the direction of the apartment. While he was running, a loud crash made his heart jump.

_Shit._

He ran even faster, only with thoughts of Jihoon.

It wasn't long when he saw from afar a curled-up figure on the sidewalk. The boy was wearing a pink jacket with the hood over, hands over his ears.

Daniel ran towards the boy and heard him whisper, "Daniel-hyung.." He caught him in his arms before he flopped to the ground.

"Jihoon-ah.. I'm so sorry."

 

 

 

 

 

_Hmm. So warm._

Jihoon woke up from his sleep but had his eyes closed. He was not able to open them right away because he was so, so tired. But he felt something warm covering his hand.

He tried to recall what happened. He remembered the rain, the thunder and... _Daniel-hyung?_

He forced his eyes open and looked towards the direction of the warmth.

_Hyung..._

He saw Daniel, sitting on a chair, sleeping with his head on the bed. He was holding Jihoon's hand.

Jihoon stared at his hyung's face, awestruck at how beautiful he was while sleeping. _Is this real? Is hyung really here?_ He wanted to check if he was real so he moved his hand a little. The motion stirred the older from his sleep and woke up completely, lifting his head up.

"Jihoon-ah. Are you okay?"

  
Jihoon didn't respond. He just leaned close to Daniel, squinting his eyes. Then he pinched Daniel's cheeks. "Seems real enough."

Daniel then laughed his cute laugh. "Of course I'm real."

Jihoon suddenly frowned. "I'm just scared hyung. What if I'm just imagining you? I might be going crazy, you know."

Daniel felt sad hearing those words. He couldn't take Jihoon being sad because of him.

"Jihoon-ah. I know you're tired. But I just want to say this. I'm sorry," Daniel bowed his head because he was suddenly teary-eyed.

He was surprised when Jihoon put his hands on the side of his cheeks and said, "Hyung. Thank you. You saved me tonight. I don't know what would've happened to me if you weren't there." Jihoon placed a soft kiss on Daniel's forehead.

Daniel couldn't help it. He sat on the bed next to Jihoon and held the boy tightly in his arms, inhaling the scent of his neck. "Fuck, I missed you so much Jihoon-ah. I was crazy worried when I found out that there was gonna be a thunderstorm tonight, so I went here all the way from my hometown. I couldn't help it. I tried to stay away for your own good but I couldn't. I just missed you so much. I missed your beautiful eyes," _Daniel kissed Jihoon's eyes,_ "your cute nose," _a kiss on the nose,_ "and your lips."

Daniel pressed his lips to Jihoon's. He had craved the taste of Jihoon's lips ever since he left. In the kiss he gave everything he felt. The sadness, worries, gratefulness, and the happiness at seeing Jihoon again.

Jihoon was the one who broke the kiss, panting. "Daniel-hyung. I missed you so much too. You have no idea how long I've waited for you to come back."

With tears in his eyes, Jihoon gently fondled Daniel's face and moved his head closer, their breaths mingling. "And answering your letter, I love you too Daniel-hyung."

Daniel tangled his fingers into Jihoon's hair. He closed the distance between them and caressed Jihoon's mouth with his.

_Hmm. So warm._

 

 

 

 

 

It was Christmas time. Jihoon's parents went to visit some relatives in the U.S. so he was planning to celebrate it in the apartment. But last week Daniel asked him if he wanted to celebrate Christmas eve and Christmas day in his house. Jihoon didn't have anything better to do so he said yes. 

Daniel picked him up as they agreed to go together. Jihoon liked long travels. It made him feel calm.

They rode the train for two hours, with Daniel falling asleep on Jihoon's head — not shoulder, Jihoon was too short for that. Jihoon was too excited to sleep. He hasn't traveled in a while, really. All the places he went to the past few months were his apartment, university, coffee shop and some places he and Daniel visited here and there.

When they arrived, Jihoon exclaimed, "We're here!"

Daniel laughed at the younger's enthusiasm. "Why are you so excited?"

"Well, first, it's Christmas. Second, I get to meet the amazing people who made your existence possible. Third," Jihoon holds his boyfriend's hand, "I get to spend time with you."

Daniel didn't live with Jihoon again in his apartment even after they made up. He lived in his parents' house and found a nice teaching job in their town, too. He went to Jihoon's apartment during the weekends so they can spend quality time together.

Daniel scrunched his nose. "Too sweet, I'm getting diabetes here."

"Wow look who's talking. If I recorded every sweet thing you've said to me, you'll puke all over yourself." Jihoon frowned.

Daniel stole a small kiss from Jihoon and it turned the younger's frown into a smile. "I was kidding you dumb dumb."

"Who're you calling dumb dumb?!"

Daniel just laughed and ruffled the smaller boy's hair. Simple moments like these made him very, very happy.

They took a cab to Daniel's house and after fifteen minutes, they finally arrived.

"I'm home!" Daniel shouted at the door, coming in. Jihoon followed him inside.

"Surprise!" Jihoon almost had a heart attack. He was genuinely surprised to see Hyeop in his boyfriend's house.. also... Ong Seongwoo?

"Hoon-ah! We're you surprised? We planned this for you, you know," Hyeop laughed.

Jihoon, still haven't recovered from the surprise, just nodded.

"Ya, I went home for you. No hug?" Hyeop spread his arms and pouted.

Daniel heard this and slapped Hyeop's arm down. "No. Jihoon is _MY_ boyfriend. I'm the only person he's allowed to hug." Daniel looked smug.

"Oi oi oi, stop being that smug Daniel. We all know that Jihoonie here likes me too. Right Hoonie?" Seongwoo stood next to Jihoon and put his arm over his shoulder.

Daniel immediately pulled Seongwoo away and shouted, "Can you all stop laying your dirty hands on Jihoon? How many times do I need to remind you that he is—"

" _—your boyfriend. Your baby. Yours._ We know that already. But Jihoon looks so pretty how can we resist," Seongwoo cooed.

"How can you resist? Well, either close your eyes or let me extract your eyeballs so that you can go blind and—"

"Uh.." Jihoon started, "can I ask something? I'm very confused. How'd you and Seongwoo know each other Daniel-hyung? I know that you've talked to Hyeop before but Seongwoo..."

Daniel opened his mouth, then closed it again. He didn't know how to start.

"Well, this lad here, you know after he left, he still kept on worrying about you," Seongwoo explained for Daniel. The latter was just uselessly blushing. "To the point that he couldn't sleep. We've been the best of friends since we were kids. So he asked, no, he _forced_ me to go to your uni and keep an eye on you, since I lived just around Seoul. Now I know that sounds like I'm a stalker but not really. I was forced okay? And then, yeah, Daniel also asked me to get you a gift for Fridays. That snack and pink jacket? That was actually from Daniel, I just put it in your locker. Anyway, after meeting you, I actually found you very pretty so if you want to dump Daniel I'd be—"

Daniel put his hand over Seongwoo's mouth. He grabbed Jihoon's hand and brought him upstairs to his room.

Once the door was closed, Daniel started, "I'm sorry for not telling you sooner. I wanted to, but look at him. He's so smitten with you. I didn't want to introduce you to him because—"

Jihoon stepped closer to Daniel, "Are you jealous hyung?" He smiled licking his lips.

"Of course. You're mine Jihoon. I can't let other boys snatch you away."

"Good. I'm not going anywhere." Jihoon tiptoed and gave Daniel a tiny kiss.

 

 

 

 

 

When night came, Daniel's parents arrived. Jihoon was nervous about meeting them but Daniel assured him that it's going to be okay and that there's nothing to be worried out.

They greeted each other, and Jihoon thought that Daniel's parents are beautiful. Especially Daniel's mom. _So beautiful, like her son._

"I am glad to finally meet you, Jihoon. The boy that drives my son crazy. Thank you for making him happy," Daniel's mom smiled at Jihoon.

The couple blushed at the woman's words.

"Mom, don't embarrass me," Daniel scratched his head and smiled sheepishly.

Jihoon frowned and elbowed Daniel at the stomach, "It's not embarrassing, and thank you Mrs. Kang. I promise to discipline your son so he can learn how to behave."

Daniel's mom laughed, "You're so funny, just as my son told me. Ah, everyone it's time for Christmas Dinner, please help us prepare."

Everyone split up tasks. It was nice. _This was nice,_ Jihoon thought. He missed his family but this was okay too.

They ate dinner together and drank more hot chocolate. After dinner, they spent so much time talking and playing games that they were so tired afterwards. They finally decided that it's bedtime around eleven thirty and greeted each other a "Merry Christmas" before retreating to their assigned sleeping areas. Seongwoo and Hyeop were sleeping in the guest bedroom. Jihoon was sleeping in Daniel's room and Daniel was sleeping on the living room couch. When Daniel was about to go downstairs, Jihoon couldn't help it.

"Hyung," he whispered, "Stay with me. Please?" He pouted for extra effect.

Daniel was easily persuaded especially when it comes to his cute boyfriend. "How can I resist you when you're like this?"

So they ended up cuddling in the same bed. It was a really cold winter night. But Jihoon thought it was so so warm, with Daniel beside him. It was the best winter of his life, so far.

 

**Author's Note:**

> i hope you all enjoyed reading! i died so much while writing because my heart can't handle nielwink feels
> 
> my twitter: @[meanhyung](https://twitter.com/meanhyung)  
> as always, thank you for reading~ kudos and comments are always appreciated!


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